Personal Victory

When you were a kid there were always the little kitschy items that your parents hated you to get when you went on vacation. The keychain with your name on it (you were a 6year old kid why did you need keys), the spinner with lights on it that said the name of the national park you were at, and of course the souvenir stretch penny. They were everywhere when I was growing up. We went to see the sea lions on the Oregon coast and there was a machine next to the lookout binoculars that you paid to use. There was one in Zion’s, USS Lexington in Corpus Christi, and Sea World. I even think they had one in the gift shop at the Alamo. FYI the gift shop is not in the basement of the Alamo (Does anyone even get that joke anymore?). 

All of this brings me to this weeks (month’s apparently) laundry picture.

These little pennies are all over Disneyland now. Disney is not a stupid company. When we first started going as a family the big rage was the lanyards with the pins. People would pay to get in the park, merely to trade pins all day. I know because I asked a couple of people that had huge binders full of pins. It was kitschy and people flocked to them. Our last trip in June we noticed that they were putting up the stretch penny machines everywhere (I mean everywhere) and of course the boys loved them. We first saw them on our trip to Park City last October. They both got one at the Olympic Park and the Mining Museum. Well, put machines in Disneyland, slap Mickey or a ride picture on there and boom instant new collectors for kids. Mandy even bought them these collectors’ books that Disney graciously sells now to keep all of your pennies in. There is even a map that tells you where all the machines are in the park. Guess what we are doing next Disney trip?

I found this penny in Connors laundry a couple of weeks ago but I am just remembering it now. If you notice that is from Thunder Mountain Railroad (it’s hard to read but trust me it is). If you are a regular reader then you know what a struggle that particular ride was for Connor on our trip last June (if you’re not a regular reader, you should be. Go back to the June blog and read about our June vacation to southern Cal). There were tears, yelling, and cajoling (by all parties involved) to get him to ride that ride. Of course, once he actually rode it, he loved it. Like I said I found this a couple of weeks ago in Connors laundry. It is semi-ruined because it did go through a wash and dry cycle before it was discovered, but he still loves it.

That part of the trip was a real struggle for all of us. There were some moments on that particular day that I am not proud of. I said some things to him that looking back I cannot believe I said. I was mad, hot, angry and embarrassed and I took it out on him. I won’t go into what I said, just know that I am ashamed and I learned a lesson that day. Our kids will have struggles and fears in life, just like we did when were that age. But our kids are not us. Not matter how much we like to think they are a reflection of ourselves, they aren’t. They have their own personalities, their own fears, their own likes, their own triumphs. That day, in that park, on the bench just to the left of the exit of Thunder Mountain, is when that hit me. That is when I kneeled down in the middle of the park, looked him squarely in the eyes and told him how sorry I was. I told him that I should be supportive, not demeaning. Talk TO him, not at him. Listen to his fears, not dismiss them. I am not a perfect parent (perfect everywhere else in life but not as a parent or husband) and I still make mistakes daily and it’s ok to make those mistakes, as long as you don’t repeat them.

I asked Connor why he carried that particular coin around with him. “I loved that ride, duh Papa.”

“Is that the only reason?” I asked him.

“Yup, I loved that ride. I wouldn’t ride it at first but now it is my favorite. Even more that Pirates.”

I hope he carries it as a reminder of his own personal victory. I keep a picture of it on my phone to remind me that I am not a perfect parent. 

And now thanks to Disney Connor can carry it and dozens of other pennies around at the same time.