One of my small joys in life is watching cartoons in the
mornings with the boys. Sure, they aren’t Thundercats, Transformers, or Voltron
(BEST) of my youth but they’ll do. Last weekend we saw a commercial for a
DisneyXD show Star vs the Forces of Evil (don’t ask. I haven’t watched it and
don’t plan on it). During the commercial nachos comes up as a plot point of
some future show. The girl character (Star, I’m assuming. Again, this isn’t
Voltron) at this point says, “oooohhhh triangle food.” This of course
jumpstarted the conversation about triangle food. The general consensus between
us all, was there is not bad triangle food. Think long and hard about it. We
did……….Times up. You can’t think of a bad triangle food. Pizza, nachos, corn
chips (more specifically purple Doritos), Toblerone bars, carrot wedges, pie,
cake, etc. Now of course there can be bad pizza, bad nachos (any gas station
with liquid cheese qualifies here, or bad pie but all in all the category of
triangle food is fantastic. Really if you can think of a bad triangle food let
me know, so here at home we can have another thought provoking discussion on
shapes and food.
Two weeks ago I commented that my muse, Connor, had failed
to leave anything in his laundry of late. I actually thought about changing the
name of the blog. However, as if he was reading my mind, or my blog, he came
through last week.
As always let us analyze the photo here. Using my
Sherlocking (about to be trademarked) skills, we can deduce that my son is addicted
to candy. See the Dum Dum, Mamba, Tootsie Roll and mini KitKat wrappers. The next
obvious question is where is the little Oompa Loompa getting the candy from? This
is mostly leftover Christmas candy that he has pigeonholed somewhere. Which
again begs the question, where? A search by search room has yielded no clues as
of this writing but rest assured the cache will be found…..Ok maybe not. The subsequent
load of laundry have not given up this amount of wrappers, so he has most
likely eaten through this Christmas load. Valentines and Easter are just around
the corner however. Stay tuned. That is a Lego shield from some unknown
character. As of this writing, it still sits unclaimed and lonely on top of the
dryer.
There are still more items there. In fact, the two items
that actually made my heart stop for a minute. The object that actually stopped
me dead for at least 15 seconds (no exaggeration there) was the highlighter
lid. If there was a highlighter lid, WHERE WAS THE REST OF THE BLOODY
HIGHLIGHTER?????? Good lord almighty, I cannot imagine the carnage that would
be associated with a washed, and more devastating, DRIED highlighter in a load
of laundry. The only saving grace was this was mostly blues and reds for school
clothes. Maybe the yellow wouldn’t fully transfer to those colors. Who am I kidding?
Of course it will ruin school clothes. School uniform clothes that are that
hard to keep clean and in one piece as it is. Now an evaporated highlighter is
added to the mix. Where is the rest of the damned highlighter? During this search
I found the beaker. The what, you ask? THE BEAKER!!!!!!! The broken in half
beaker I might add. The beaker that still had liquid in the other half. WHAT
WAS IN THE BEAKER? Where did it come from? What was in the beaker? More laundry
flying out of the dryer, more wrappers, more glass, Mandy rushing to the scene,
Alex being indifferent and finally the culprit arrives. “Connor, I calmly (if
you can count the vein in my forehead pulsing and fist clenched calm) start, “why
is there glass and a highlighter cap in your pants?” His reply, “There’s my
beaker.” Like I should be finding a beaker all the time in his pants. “Connor,
what was in the beaker?” His reply, “I don’t know Papa but it’s gone now.” As a
parent do you ever have those moments when you are not sure if you are going to
throttle the child or laugh uncontrollably? Yeah, this wasn’t one of those. “Connor
where is the rest of the highlighter?” His reply, “don’t know Papa.”
Ok at this point I need to emphasize the point, I love my
son more than myself, but this damn vein in my forehead wasn’t there two
minutes ago. The beaker it turns out came from an after school science class he
is in right now. He loves this class. He is convinced it will help him with his
inventions someday. He still cannot answer what was in said beaker (there is
someone out there who does and I hope she responds to this to let me know what
was) but no laundry was harmed so the vein is starting to recede. The highlighter
itself was never found but again no laundry was harmed, so the vein is gone at
this point, after all it's only hundreds of dollars worth of uniform clothes. The look he was giving at this point was all teeth, grin straight
back and eyes squeezed shut. God, I love this little boy.
