When I started the idea of this blog it was mainly to talk
about the wonderful (and not so wonderful) treasures that would appear in the
washer and dryer after doing the boy’s laundry. There were always candy
wrappers, Legos, marbles, rocks, Legos, Nerf rockets, Legos, and coins (and
Legos). However, as they are getting older the supply of material for a blog
based on laundry has been less and less. Thankfully, I have Connor to give his
words of wisdom and they still have approximately 2.78 million Lego bricks that
I can bemoan about. It would be nice if I could get this blog back to its
roots. Back to where it all began, with laundry stories. Well, this last week I
have two clothes related stories that have nothing to do with the boys but with
Mandy’s third child, me.
Monday started out innocently enough. I woke up, showered,
shaved, got dressed, sauntered downstairs, made coffee, sat down to start
homework and that is when the morning took a slight detour. I have stomach issues.
Like IBS and Lactose intolerant type issues. When I don’t eat right (which is
never) or when I’m stressed (which is about 94% of the time) the problem is
exasperated. My lovely wife, who is into Doterra, purchased for me some gel
pills to help with digestive issues. I usually take one every morning and they
really do work, however they smell and taste castor oil mixed with clove candy
(ponder that for a moment, I’ll wait). Some ingredients are ginger root,
peppermint plant, caraway seed oil, coriander seed oil, anise seed oil, and
fennel seed oil. Sounds delicious doesn’t it? Well, I had one in my pocket, sat
down to do some homework, when it burst in my pocket. Only I didn’t realize it
had burst until right before I was to leave for work. At this point it’s too
late to iron new pants, I just rolled with it. I was five minutes from my first
appointment (with a factory rep with me) when I fully grasped how bad those
damn pills stink. I went through two sales calls when I made the decision to go
buy some more pants (this pair was about to replaced anyway so I thought what
the hell). After a 25 minute search through the pant section at Costco (don’t
judge they have really nice slacks at a decent price) I finally found my size,
nope still only a 32” inseam. Ok after 30 minutes I found a 34” inseam. Home to
iron them, old slacks in the garbage, back to work. Whew, no one noticed.
That was Monday but Wednesday’s adventure was just as fun. Again,
Wednesday started great. Had some great sales calls, took a customer to lunch
at Popeye’s (wayyyyyyyyy better than Chick Fila and KFC. Red beans and rice,
nough said), and then onto Alex’s Jr Jazz game. There was a bad accident on the
freeway that day so the decision was made to just meet at the game. I needed
dinner first so onto Wendy’s for dinner. Ordered my burger, fries and iced tea
and pulled on through to pay. Handed the guy my card, he hands my back my card,
then my ice tea and then the lid popped off and he dumped an entire 22oz iced
tea in my lap. Yes, an ENTIRE 22OZ ICED TEA IN MY LAP! Did I mention the
freeway was closed and it was 20 minutes to game time and these were the games
for the championship? After exhausting my expletives file I drove across the
street to Target to purchase some new jeans and undergarments (yes it was that
wet). First I’d better eat so my food doesn’t get cold, too late. The burger
and fries were as cold as my lap was. After some more expletives and an Eyeore
movement of why bother, I ventured into Target for some new jeans. Nuts, I parked
on the food side not the clothing side. So I undertook the walk of shame across
the store to the men’s section for new pants. Is it too much to ask stores to
stock some 34” inseams? The world is overrun with short people I tell you.
Finally found some in a waist size too big but the right length, and I was off
to the rec center. After a quick change of pants in the gym bathroom, I was
able to make to the game just in time for tip off.
Happy to report that Alex’s team won both of their games and
took first place in their age group for their region.
The rest of the week went without incident. I was able to go
shooting in the west desert without getting any pants ruined. I was able to
start on Pinewood derby cars without ruining jeans or losing a digit (or my
sanity. I was able to buy a new tool.) Looking back it wasn’t the end of the world
I had to buy two new pairs of pants. In fact looking back, I feel bad for the
kid at Wendy’s. I didn’t yell at him but I did let loose with a string of
curses that would make even Andrew Dice Clay stop in his tracks. It’s not like
he spilled the ice tea on purpose (or maybe he did. My beard can elicit all
sort of different emotions in people). Oh well, if these two incidents are the
worst things that could have happened this week, I made out ok.
